One of the talks I have delivered, and will be delivering this Saturday, 27 Apr 2013, centres around how to make the right decisions. We need to be thinking about things like this every so often, and determine if we are truly who we say we are. Some people call it congruence.

Well, I had an opportunity to demonstrate this a few weeks ago. My mother had come to visit, and I was walking my mother out to where she could catch a bus back home. When we reached the bus stop, she said goodbye and asked me to head back home. As I did so, I happened to notice a red purse lying on the ground. Picking it up, I noticed that it was half open and contained a big bundle of S$50 notes. I wondered whether my mother might have dropped it, so I put it in my pocket and crossed the street back to the bus stop where my mother was still waiting. Taking her aside, I showed her the purse and asked if it belonged to her. She confirmed what I suspected, that it didn’t. This gave me the opportunity to ask a group of ladies standing nearby whether any of them had lost anything. A few seconds later, one of them said that she thought she might have dropped her purse. I asked her to describe the purse, which she proceeded to do. I then took the red zippered purse out of my pocket and handed it to her, remarking that she ought to be more careful. That done, I left for home again.

Situations like these are opportunities for us to check if our values are really what we say or think they are, and whether or not we have congruence with them. If we do, well and good, reinforcement has taken place. If we, however, feel any urge to act in a manner contrary to what we espouse, then it is an opportunity to determine to do the right thing in spite of what we feel, and to reinforce those values we want in our own selves. People follow leaders who are congruent.